I think pride is an acceptable flaw. I'd say a fatal flaw for a Sue is something like "he/she has gorgeous blue eyes, and the rest of the world hate him/her for not having brown eyes like them", if you get what I'm saying.
Eheheheh... it IS a weird idea now that I think about it. The whole idea was to basically have the Sue do his/her own thing while one of the characters on his/her bad side watch and fight as the whole world slowly falls apart.
Right now, I wanted to start the story with the Sue having one universe under his/her belt and stumbles into another world. Live the fantasy and take it with him/her.
TL;DR, typical Mary Sue story except from the "bad guys'" POV. Then again, fanfic is a bit... stupid in a lot of eyes.
It's not a matter of stupid so much as 'is this gonna come out interesting'. I don't personally see the appeal in reading a story that deliberately features a perfect villain, but presumably you know who's going to read this.
To be honest, I really like writing out random drabbles to blow off some steam. Heck, this is just supposed to be a throwaway fic. I think the idea is decent, but I'm scared to screw it up (partially because this would be my first impression here and fans are really elitist sometimes).
I'm fine with a parody Sue. I just want the character to come across as a Sue. Considering I want to tell a Sue story from one of the unaffected characters' point of view (namely the main characters from a certain series), trying to sell the idea to audience would be a bit difficult.
Unfortunately, unless the Sue never pays for it, having a fatal flaw is something most mary sues lack. However, I think one of the biggest signs of a Mary Sue is how the other characters react to her (or him). Nobody is indifferent to a Mary Sue. Everybody loves or hates her. If your character does all the damage by himself, is almost invincible, and nobody is neutral to him, I'd say you got a Mary Sue. Sue names: Marcus (Warlike) Aaron (Strong) Kana (Powerful. It's a Japanese unisex name. According to Mary Sue tests, Asian names for non-Asian characters are sueish traits.) The Mary Sue character I made by accident when I was 12 name was Estella (Star.).
So what you're saying is that even if most of the universe hates her/him, if she "wins", it would count against (or in this case, for) her/him, right? Taking a worst case scenario: Sue gets the girl, then annihilates a bunch of overpowered characters in almost an instant.
One of my old OCs that I keep tweaking is Cyrus Soldati (sun; soldier). Yeah... he was definitely a Mary Sue when I came up with him (Pokemon fanfic, natch).
I'd say your worst case scenario is definitely a Sue (You can also make your character insanely handsome for to be even more Sueish. Depends how far you want to go.) About your character Kona, I don't think names make sues. All my characters have names with special meanings: Ella (young girl. She's an immature character.) Jason (Healer. It's a fantasy story, they have powers.) Carina (Dear one. She is probably not going to live long...) Darcy (Dark.) Sorry if I'm rambling...
It's fine. It's always interesting to hear how another person decides names on their OCs. Weird isn't it?
Cyrus Soldati (good at starting and finishing physical fights, lacking in positive people skills) Crystal Romanova (proper and cool-headed jack-of-all-trades; not great at any one thing) Naomi Fortunata (been experimented on, escaped, and is now being hunted; is somehow still alive) and Kana Sakaki (artist; I wanted to use a villain's name, Giovanni's Japanese name, on a good guy for kicks).
There. We're even, and thanks for the 'handsome' tip.
If you want a stereotypical Sueish name, 1. make it sound like it is from a different culture than everyone else's names (ie, she has a Japanese name when everyone else has English names), 2. make it very long or give her multiple names, 3. pick a name that has a "special meaning" such as "beauty" or "power" or "strength."
In all honesty, though, I mess up colloquialisms and slang almost all the time, even though English is my first language.
And I noticed I made a grammar mistake. The first 'she' should've been a 'he', or I should just change the post to refer to a female character because, in my stupidity, I forgot that 'Mary Sue' is usually female.