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Posted: January 2

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Monthly Literature Critique Thread: January

Forums > Art Related > Literature

^Beccalicious Jan 2, 2013 Professional Writer

Posting Guidelines: Monthly Lit critique: January

Please note: This forum is refreshed as new on the first of every single month. The previous month will be locked and unstickied on the same day.

This thread is for critique requests for literature deviations only. Please only post if you are interested in revising your writing and wish to receive honest critique

If you would like critique, please post a comment with a direct link or thumb to your deviation.

Please refrain from posting entire texts in comments.

Please note, there are plenty of Groups that also offer critique as well as literature chat rooms.

When giving critique, please remember to be constructive, not destructive.

The following guides on critique may be of use to read:

Crit Ticks for critics
Critique
How to accept a critique
PE: Literature Critique Tips

Previous Month: December

Not getting any critique?

You have to give to get on dA. Make the effort to respond to other requests on this thread and more people will be likely to respond to yours

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^Beccalicious Feb 1, 2013 Professional Writer

New month!

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~wwhulk12 Jan 31, 2013

Critique mine, please. [link]

It's just a rough up of something I'm trying to make into a book, graphic novel, or whatever.
Warning: strong language

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=slowslicksnails Jan 29, 2013 Student Writer

the summer heat .Summer heat clenches her shame,
Sunlight aches her whole body,
She puts it in her pocket.
Sweat runs like an itch in her name,
It shakes her awake to the same shame.

Planted health helps her
Bask in the heat, melting.
Day skies weep to keep
Her sick in the head.

Butterflies live in her stomach
Eating her alive somewhat.
Swallow the guilt one last time.
She hopes this is the last time.

She wants to breathe in the sea-salt,
Waiting for the water to waste her,
Weighing down as she walks.
But she makes it as chlorine's fault,
Maybe she'll sleep faster in this salt.

Butterflies live in her stomach
Eating her alive somewhat.
Swallow

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Mood: Joy

~silentnature Jan 29, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

[link]

I'll truly appreciate a honest critique on this piece I've been working on for a while.

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~Lupina24 Jan 28, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I would appreciate feedback for my haiku poetry. I am willing to return the favor.

Old snowBlessing old to new
Old snow remains on new years
Like an Heirloom gown.

FaithfulnessValue of Self-
Word and deed forged and wed.
Chiseled by Trust

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=slowslicksnails Jan 29, 2013 Student Writer

I'll give feedback on both.

can you give feedback on mine as well?

the summer heat .Summer heat clenches her shame,
Sunlight aches her whole body,
She puts it in her pocket.
Sweat runs like an itch in her name,
It shakes her awake to the same shame.

Planted health helps her
Bask in the heat, melting.
Day skies weep to keep
Her sick in the head.

Butterflies live in her stomach
Eating her alive somewhat.
Swallow the guilt one last time.
She hopes this is the last time.

She wants to breathe in the sea-salt,
Waiting for the water to waste her,
Weighing down as she walks.
But she makes it as chlorine's fault,
Maybe she'll sleep faster in this salt.

Butterflies live in her stomach
Eating her alive somewhat.
Swallow

Reply

~Lupina24 Jan 29, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Your wish is my command.

It is done.

Reply

=slowslicksnails Jan 29, 2013 Student Writer

Aw thank you!

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~Lupina24 Jan 29, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

No problem.

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=slowslicksnails Jan 30, 2013 Student Writer

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