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December 9, 2012
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Quick question about embraces

:iconikkapikkabooh:
IkkaPikkaBooh Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
I wrote this sentence,
"He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace."
and then I realised I have no clue how to write that the girl hugs him back... Is it as simple as "she returned the embrace" or is there a better way to describe it?
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:iconndifference:
ndifference Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Professional Writer
wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

The definition of embrace is "to clasp in the arms." Your sentence is redundant. Why say the same thing twice in the span of nine words?
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:iconrovanna:
Rovanna Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012   Digital Artist
You could just straight out say it. Something like:

Amice laughed and hugged him back . "Something something in French, Papa."
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:iconikkapikkabooh:
IkkaPikkaBooh Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
Allright, it's hard to know what my problem is when it's out of context, so here you go.
"He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. He had longed for this, to hold his daughter in his arms again, for so long and now he couldn’t say if he would ever be able to let go.
“Ma fifille, ma bichette, ma chérie” he murmured down into her hair with closed eyes, trying to take it all in. Amice was alive!
"


I know it's kind of cheesy, and I might rewrite it, and the thing I have troubble with is how to say that she hugs him back.
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:iconfutilitarian:
futilitarian Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012   Writer
What's actually wrong with 'she hugged him back' as you said/implied?
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:iconpoeticjewess:
PoeticJewess Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
She would grab him by the groin and scream, making an exaggerated face: "THIS IS MINE. THIS IS THE CHARCUTERIE OF MY PEOPLE."

I reckon.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe the problem is the first sentence. What's wrong with 'they embraced'?
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:iconpinkymccoversong:
PinkyMcCoversong Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
Please, please, please: READ.

The more you read, the more you'll see this kind of scene, and the better you'll be able to write.

The sentence you gave is riddled with cliche, which is part of why I'm suggesting that you read. Also, the fact that you think you need to use the word "embrace" for any kind of hug tells me that if you are reading, it's probably not contemporary works.

So I think the answer to your problem isn't necessarily going to be found posting to a forum, but in your own library.
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:iconikkapikkabooh:
IkkaPikkaBooh Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
The only problem is that my library is in Swedish... Sure, I'm reading the Lord of the Rings right now in English, but they don't hug much in that book... :/
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:iconsimplylemie:
SimplyLemie Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012
Go to any second hand store - they always have plenty of books in English. I think that at least 90% of the books I own are in English and most of them are from second hand stores.
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:iconpinkymccoversong:
PinkyMcCoversong Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
You should ask your librarian about getting more English language books in. I bet they'd be delighted to help you out!
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her, and they embraced.
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:iconel-and-noxi:
El-and-Noxi Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist
That would be too many words ''embrace'' in the same paragraph and the story wouldn't flow nicely.
Since I don't know what kind of a story it is and how much emphasis you intend to put on this embrace itself I went with the romantic approach.
"He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. She followed his lead and clung to him wishing for time to stop..." or something... Hope it helps. =)
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
I wouldn't say that she returns the embrace; it's word repetition and will sound awkward to the reader. If you say aloud, "He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. She returned the embrace." it doesn't flow very naturally.

Describe her actual actions; her arms move into the embrace, but what's that movement?
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:iconikkapikkabooh:
IkkaPikkaBooh Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
All right, there's some more text between those entences...
"He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. He had longed for this, to hold his daughter in his arms again, for so long and now he couldn’t say if he would ever be able to let go.
“Ma fifille, ma bichette, ma chérie” he murmured down into her hair with closed eyes, trying to take it all in. Amice was alive!
"

And ... yeah... i don't know ;3
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
I think that works fine, yeah =)
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:iconmerrak:
merrak Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist
He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. She, distracted by what to do with her arms, blurted out that she was in love with the family parakeet. It was at this moment Al Gore realized his life had taken a strange turn, and he wandered off to go invent the internet.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
She's an idiot and should've gone for squeezing his firm buttocks. :no:
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:iconsonamyfan362:
SonAmyFan362 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Professional Writer
No, you didn't! Lol! :D!
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:icongalaxygoddess:
GalaxyGoddess Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
10/10 would read again. In fact, I just did.
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:icondionaya:
Dionaya Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student General Artist
I find this story intriguing. Do add more.
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