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December 9, 2012


Replies: 20

Quick question about embraces

I wrote this sentence,
"He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace."
and then I realised I have no clue how to write that the girl hugs him back... Is it as simple as "she returned the embrace" or is there a better way to describe it?

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Devious Comments

ndifference Dec 12, 2012  Professional Writer
wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

The definition of embrace is "to clasp in the arms." Your sentence is redundant. Why say the same thing twice in the span of nine words?
Rovanna Dec 9, 2012   Digital Artist
You could just straight out say it. Something like:

Amice laughed and hugged him back . "Something something in French, Papa."
Allright, it's hard to know what my problem is when it's out of context, so here you go.
"He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. He had longed for this, to hold his daughter in his arms again, for so long and now he couldn’t say if he would ever be able to let go.
“Ma fifille, ma bichette, ma chérie” he murmured down into her hair with closed eyes, trying to take it all in. Amice was alive!

I know it's kind of cheesy, and I might rewrite it, and the thing I have troubble with is how to say that she hugs him back.
What's actually wrong with 'she hugged him back' as you said/implied?
PoeticJewess Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
She would grab him by the groin and scream, making an exaggerated face: "THIS IS MINE. THIS IS THE CHARCUTERIE OF MY PEOPLE."

I reckon.
neurotype Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe the problem is the first sentence. What's wrong with 'they embraced'?
PinkyMcCoversong Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
Please, please, please: READ.

The more you read, the more you'll see this kind of scene, and the better you'll be able to write.

The sentence you gave is riddled with cliche, which is part of why I'm suggesting that you read. Also, the fact that you think you need to use the word "embrace" for any kind of hug tells me that if you are reading, it's probably not contemporary works.

So I think the answer to your problem isn't necessarily going to be found posting to a forum, but in your own library.
The only problem is that my library is in Swedish... Sure, I'm reading the Lord of the Rings right now in English, but they don't hug much in that book... :/
Go to any second hand store - they always have plenty of books in English. I think that at least 90% of the books I own are in English and most of them are from second hand stores.
PinkyMcCoversong Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
You should ask your librarian about getting more English language books in. I bet they'd be delighted to help you out!
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