Monthly Literature Critique Thread: December

^Beccalicious Dec 1, 2012 Professional Writer

Posting Guidelines: Monthly Lit critique: December

Please note: This forum is refreshed as new on the first of every single month. The previous month will be locked and unstickied on the same day.

This thread is for critique requests for literature deviations only. Please only post if you are interested in revising your writing and wish to receive honest critique

If you would like critique, please post a comment with a direct link or thumb to your deviation.

Please refrain from posting entire texts in comments.

Please note, there are plenty of Groups that also offer critique as well as literature chat rooms.

When giving critique, please remember to be constructive, not destructive.

The following guides on critique may be of use to read:

Crit Ticks for critics
Critique
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PE: Literature Critique Tips

Previous Month: November

Not getting any critique?

You have to give to get on dA. Make the effort to respond to other requests on this thread and more people will be likely to respond to yours

Devious Comments

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^Beccalicious Jan 2, 2013 Professional Writer

new month!

~NeutraStaff Jan 1, 2013

Alright, I've never done this before so I hope this works. Anyways, I wrote a short story, here's the link: [link]

I hope someone can read it and tell me specifically what they think about the story at least. It's about me but it's science fiction. There's a bit of a back story to it that's revealed in it but...you'll see what I mean if you check it out. It's titled 'A gypsy story'.

^Beccalicious Jan 2, 2013 Professional Writer

Please note, we've switched to the january thread now, so you may want to repost there: [link]

~blukitty-chan Jan 1, 2013

WIP-Infinitely Yours "I'm so sorry I'm late!" Julia shouted as she practically busted through the door. Her chest was heaving up and down feverishly, and she attempted to brush back some of the small wet strands of hair that stuck to her face but she found that her fingers were numb and stiff due to the cold autumn rain. Not only was she dripping wet but her legs were throbbing from the determined jog that she had had to do to get there.

She took a breath, and looked around, immediately disappointed to find that her tutor was fast asleep. His full head of blonde hair was lying peacefully against his arms, while his black rimmed glasses w

I've been writing for about six years but I still need a lot of improvement. I'd appreciate if someone were to comment on my work. Thank you

^Beccalicious Jan 2, 2013 Professional Writer

Please note, we've switched to the january thread now, so you may want to repost there: [link]

~JennieDoomsday Jan 1, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

This is a short story I wrote from the perspective of Adam Novakovsky, one of the characters in my upcoming novel, 'RAT'. This particular story does not appear in the novel, but it provides some insight into the character's background.

Fits into the category of horror, I suppose.

Not for the faint of heart. Hope you enjoy it!

Monsters Like Me**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR**
This story contains themes depicting graphic violence, crime, and murder. Reader discretion is advised.

---------------------------------

[Would Gabriel call himself an Angel of Death?]

They all scream. Even those with the blackest insides still feel pain. They all cry out.

[Or would he wonder if he was just a pitiless murderer?]

I should have been used to hearing it by then. But I still had to quiet him. Sever his windpipe so he couldn't scream at me anymore. I didn't want to hear it in my brain forever like the others.

[As Mama said, Angels have to obey God's Law the same way we do. Thou shalt not kill.