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December 1, 2012
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Monthly Literature Critique Thread: December

:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012   Writer
Posting Guidelines: Monthly Lit critique: December

Please note: This forum is refreshed as new on the first of every single month. The previous month will be locked and unstickied on the same day.

:bulletblue: This thread is for critique requests for literature deviations only. Please only post if you are interested in revising your writing and wish to receive honest critique
:bulletblue:If you would like critique, please post a comment with a direct link or thumb to your deviation.
:bulletblue: Please refrain from posting entire texts in comments.
:bulletblue: Please note, there are plenty of Groups that also offer critique as well as literature chat rooms.

:bulletorange: When giving critique, please remember to be constructive, not destructive.
:bulletorange: The following guides on critique may be of use to read:

Crit Ticks for critics
Critique
How to accept a critique
PE: Literature Critique Tips

Previous Month:
November

Not getting any critique?

You have to give to get on dA. Make the effort to respond to other requests on this thread and more people will be likely to respond to yours :)
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Devious Comments

:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
:lock:

new month!
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:iconneutrastaff:
NeutraStaff Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Alright, I've never done this before so I hope this works. Anyways, I wrote a short story, here's the link: [link]

I hope someone can read it and tell me specifically what they think about the story at least. It's about me but it's science fiction. There's a bit of a back story to it that's revealed in it but...you'll see what I mean if you check it out. It's titled 'A gypsy story'.
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:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
Please note, we've switched to the january thread now, so you may want to repost there: [link]
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:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
Please note, we've switched to the january thread now, so you may want to repost there: [link]
Reply
:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
Please note, we've switched to the january thread now, so you may want to repost there: [link]
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:iconvon19:
von19 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student Writer
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:iconthrewthedoor:
threwthedoor Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Where has this thread been all my life?

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]
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:iconstarhavenstudios:
starhavenstudios Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi! :wave:

I read your story and I gave you a critique. Hope it helps!
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:iconsandy-aka-sandbox:
Sandy-aka-SandBox Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is a super damn long song ive been writing for a year. It was so hard for me which is why i wrote alot. I performed it and it's too long. I dont wanna be boring I wanna be "listen-able". I was hoping you could check it out and give me tips on shortening the song. I can't decide what to take out because they all mean a lot. I was hoping you'd know what means the least i could take out. Just look at them and come back to me [link] thank you
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:iconsandy-aka-sandbox:
Sandy-aka-SandBox Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi! I wrote more lyrics! Yes I'm working that hard ;) If anyone could just tell me if there's anything I should change for it, give me tips on it, that be awesome! [link]
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:iconlockedbox:
LockedBox Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Hey, I have a bit of an odd one. This was for an assignment in which we had to write a field journal describing a fictional animal. So it's not really supposed to carry a narrative or story so much as it is supposed to describe a creature. I still tried to work a narrative structure in, and tried to make it enjoyable, and I would appreciate some critique. Also, If you have trouble viewing the whole book (around 34 pages) then could you please download the PDF file? I'm not sure if it's working of not. Also, it contains visual and textual references of animals harming one another for food, the sensitive beware.

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:iconland-shark17:
Land-Shark17 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, hey. Kinda got randomly self-concious on whether my writing is alright or not, so I'd appreciate an honest critique from anyone willing to help me out here, please. :)
[link]
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:iconsandy-aka-sandbox:
Sandy-aka-SandBox Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Check out my critiqueable song lyric. If anyone can tell me what I could change about it, I'd totally appreciate it :)

[link]
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:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012   Writer
This is a shorter (about 800 words) short story. I would appreciate a critique on it & will return the favor for anyone that writes one up. Thanks.
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:iconsunowl:
SunOwl Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
A crit awaits you. :D
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:iconthreedayweekend:
threedayweekend Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012   Writer
ok thank you. I'll do one for you as well.
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:iconsunowl:
SunOwl Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
Much appreciated.
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:iconsunowl:
SunOwl Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I was trying a narrative type piece.
[link]
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:iconsunowl:
SunOwl Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
what do you mean by story "arc"?
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:iconsunowl:
SunOwl Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
Left a comment here > [link] :)
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:iconanemoneinthesky:
AnemoneInTheSky Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student Writer
[link]
Critique please! Be as "harsh" as you want to, it'll only make me better!
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:iconsunowl:
SunOwl Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
A crit has been entered. :)
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:iconanemoneinthesky:
AnemoneInTheSky Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks.
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:iconsunowl:
SunOwl Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
You're welcome. :)
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:iconkaz-d:
Kaz-D Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Done! :)
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:iconsingagainsoon:
singagainsoon Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! :D
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:iconanenemyspy:
AnEnemySpy Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012
How do you post a link to a comment?
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:iconeshyo:
eshyo Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012   Writer
Any advice/critiques/ on a poem i've been working on?
what works what doesn't? i see potential in this piece but it's not quite there.

i typed it on a typewriter so i cant put a tumbnail up, but use the link!

[link]
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:iconjjnelson222:
jjnelson222 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hello all, if anyone has time to read the second chapter and leave some feedback on my fantasy/mystery story, it would be very helpful.

[link]
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:iconichijr:
ichijr Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012
i dont know how to thumb something but the entirityofmy da postsno one ever looked or comentedthem and i posted themfor help in poetry >.<
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:iconcody-h:
Cody-H Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student Photographer
Hey. :meow: If you look under the deviation you want to link, on the very right is a section that is labeled "Thumbnail". In there, is text that says "thumb" then numbers. It will look like this: : thumb342655813 : (Without spaces) Copy that, and paste it in your comment. It will appear as
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