I believe you were looking for this. [link] In any case, culture nowadays, especially that of the Americans, mostly points to a shallow, violent and rude people who are either morbidly obese or covered in appearance-altering surgery. The aliens would probably be horrified and realize they've made a dreadful mistake in attempting to reach such a culture. Let's all move to Canada.
As usual, Calvin says it perfectly. Was there ever a better comic strip? I mean seriously, was there?
There was recently a survey done by a company that rates cities all over the world for quality of life...they sell the report to companies looking to relocate their offices. Anyway, the highest placed American city was Honolulu, which came in 28th. Most of the highest ranking cities were in Western Europe (I think Vienna was first), but Canada had a few up there as well...maybe Toronto and Ottawa...? Still, if I'm going to move, I don't think Canada would be my first choice.
They would probably be confused by our shenanigans at first, maybe enough for us to win. They would probably have to constantly rethink and replan their strategies. Once we unleash the ponies, they're done.
I've got 2 teenage daughters, both heavily involved in performing arts, so I can pretty much deal with the drama. The snarkiness, the depiction of women, the superficiality of communication...those things annoy me.