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January 5, 2013
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Crit on an angsty WIP drawing of two people, please?

:iconshillermetimbers:
shillermetimbers Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
Obviously nowhere near finished, but I'm working on a drawing in SAI and after staring at it for about six hours straight, I felt it might be a good idea to get some outside opinions. I've linearted the hair, but can anybody sees any great glaring flaws in the body structure, etc? I just want to make sure it's all accurate and possible before linearting the rest.

Go to town on the crit! I want it to look as good as it possibly can. That being said, I'm not begging for praise but if anyone can see anything that they quite like about it, tell me so I know what to keep up :)

[link]

Sorry for the low opacity, it's like 40% haha.
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Devious Comments

:iconshillermetimbers:
shillermetimbers Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
[link]

Update time, c'mon grab your friends~
Looking back at the original it's improved a lot thanks to all of your comments, so many thanks! <3
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:iconkuiji:
Kuiji Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I think it's awesome! Though both their head are a little too big for me, even if they are children. ^^'
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:iconclaytonsnow:
ClaytonSnow Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Looking really promising. I love the hair, her new body is great, not totally sold on her face, but I think you have a lot of time to make it better, plus its not even done yet. How old is she supposed to be? Because I am seeing an older lady, and I think it's because of the hairstyle and her jaw/mouth. Her nose is also really unique, which can be good and bad. Great emotion though, I can get the mood and it makes me wonder what's making him upset, which is amazing for a WIP. Keep up the good work!!
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:iconshillermetimbers:
shillermetimbers Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013
Oh wow, thank you so much! I'm glad you noticed the nose, I wanted to give a bit of variety to their appearance :) Her hair's done up because they're at a funeral (which is why he's so upset- one of his best friends died)and they're both supposed to look around 18. What improvements could you give for her face? I wanted to show that she's trying to stay strong for him but she's on the verge of breaking in the same way that he is.
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:iconclaytonsnow:
ClaytonSnow Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Uhm, the mouth has some lines coming down, and while they do convey emotion they also register as wrinkles. It's looking good, keep pushing yourself, try to replicate the detail in the hair in the entire drawing. :D
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:iconshillermetimbers:
shillermetimbers Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
Aww thanks, yeah I'm definitely gonna add more detail once I've got the body shapes sorted :) Aah I get you, I'll try to make it look more like she's biting her lip and trying to hold back.
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:iconwindhydra:
WindHydra Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It certainly looks better!
I think the end of her dress looks weird, better find a reference.

Redline [link]
Moved her shoulder forward since she's reaching out, and lowered the left shoe of the guy.
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:iconshillermetimbers:
shillermetimbers Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
Oh wow, thank you so much for taking the time to do that! It really helped with the posture of her back. I've been super busy lately which is why it's taken me so long to reply, but I'll get around to following that asap- although, the redline puts them a little further apart than I'd like them to be. His knees are meant to be between hers and the dress is wrapping around them both :) The shoulder and shoe are two things that I hadn't considered, so thanks for correcting that!
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:iconthebestwes:
thebestwes Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student General Artist
I did this redline before I noticed that you had done a revision. In red I went over the movable masses and gesture. You did a decent job on this for the most part, although you can see I've corrected the heads a bit to be more fluid, although this is more of an aesthetic correction than an anatomical one. I also increased the size of the feet, which are far too small. My foot is the size of my forearm from wrist to elbow, not my hand. I understand exaggeration for stylistic effect, but you seem to be emphasizing the youthfulness of the figures, which would mean you should do their feet bigger, not smaller. In blue, I outlined the hair as a single mass. I think you're getting a bit bogged down in individual locks of hair and losing sight of the bigger picture. The hair looks almost like a wig, as if it's sitting on top of the head but not actually growing out of it. Try it again keeping in mind constantly the entire mass and its directionality as it leaves the head. Hair tends to grow and fall in big chunks, not many chaotic frizzes, so focus on the chunks before the frizzes. Figure out how they flow out of the scalp and where they fall. You have the same problem with a few fabric wrinkles, which I have outlined in purple. Think about what is causing these folds and why they are there. Folds are caused either by fabric draping over itself due to gravity, or a point stretching part of the fabric. Think about the origin of each of these folds and move or erase them accordingly. Finally, swatches are for posers. Color is relative. The only time swatches are even useful is for low budget cartoons or on a scene-by-scene basis of an animated feature to keep the color consistent. That's it. Even then, don't display your swatches. What's the point?

Anyway, good job for the most part, and I hope this was helpful.
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:iconshillermetimbers:
shillermetimbers Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Redone-[link]

Thanks for your comments! The swatches are only there so that I can keep track of what shade to lineart in, they're not gonna be use in the actual colouring :P Even so, I'd adjust the colour of the lineart to correspond with the lighting. They're there for the time being almost like notes, just as a reminder but they won't be visible for the final thing.
The hair comments were really useful, I definitely saw what you meant with the boy's at least so I've redone it to make it look like the hair is growing in a certain direction. I've also given the fabric more of a texture, for example the boy's shirt has angled creases to show that it's a stiffer material, whereas the girl's dress flows for a softer look. Hope I did a good job of it!

You were very helpful, thank you :J
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